WWE discussion is "last to cum drinks the cup" for November

[Just!n]

Everybody thank WWE "Monday Night RAW" for implanting the image of a John Cena / HHH / HBK circle-jerk into my head.

in other, (probably) more disturbing news, i really think WWE are dropping the ball by not paying "get out of federal jail" money so that they can reunite the new brood and capitalize on the twilight hype by having matt and jeff hardy make out and grope one another for like ten minutes every week. i GUARANTEE the crossover between fat hardy fangirls and fat twilight fangirls is either already (or could easily be) 100%.

[Rusty Cooledge]

My girlfriend came over just as the WWE's Got Talent skit began. I'm fairly certain it was her first exposure to modern day wrestling.

[Alex]

Oh holy shit, Gay Hardy Boyz would make them so much fangirl money.

[Rusty Cooledge]

CORAL BUFFER AND GRILL

Maybe that's how it was written on the ad copy.

"I'm Michael Cole?"

"Go fuck yourself WWE Universe."

[B]

The best flash game:

http://kapaeme.deviantart.com/art/Whack ... -142155816

[BeeJ]

Also lots of fun:

http://kapaeme.deviantart.com/art/Gojir ... -138425589

[AudeSapere]

man lance "vance archer" hoyt got really fucking scary at some point

[Rusty Cooledge]

the new raw theme next week will be "burn it to the ground" by FUCKING NICKELBACK

I've never had a better reason to not watch wrestling.

[Rusty Cooledge]

Didn't think this was worth a new topic, you'll probably agree.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/11/05/chris-jer ... statement/

Obviously I was not offended by Jericho in the video in this link because a) I'm not an Iraqi and b) I ain't fuckin' queer, and on one hand I'm kind of "Really TMZ? Well whatever gets you hits I guess, WACKO WRESTLER GOES WACKO INSANO"" but on the other I'm like, "Come on Chris Irvine. You punched a woman in the face last year and now this? You are definitely the last person I expect to pull PR nightmare BS."

In the grand scheme of things it is irrelevant, but regardless, stuff like this has a way of making you look bad, even if it was just a party atmosphere where he was cutting loose.

[AudeSapere]

man, I like the new Hart Foundation and all, and for my money Natalya's more attractive than almost any other woman on the roster, but damned if every time that squealing guitar riff doesn't hit, I don't think Bret has finally returned and become disappointed when I see nondescript shirtless guys instead of a shaggy-haired dude in a singlet ready to break someone

[AudeSapere]

aaaaaand here goes punk back down the card

he is the new booker t in tna

edit: why is mickie dressing like a gypsy

[Just!n]

so i'm watching the hardy/mysterio match from the smackdown DVD and there's a shot where dominic looks back into the camera for like two seconds and its the most hilarious foreshadowing in wrestling history.

[B]

"Heh, here comes the CALVARY!"

How hard is that to get right?

And do they have a script they start with every week that says "Guest Host comes to ring, is awkard. Heels come out, get in their face, get humiliated. Faces come out, make a match for right here tonight." I understand the predictability of wrestling convention, but Jesus fucking Christ

[B]

Every week needs Jack Swagger cutting a promo while other people talk at a normal speed over him.

[AudeSapere]

I hate Chris Masters and he's been a complete waste of space since he returned, but doing his "performance art piece" to Crazy Train with a straight face is totally awesome. Especially because Khali found it "oddly mesmerizing".

[Jim]

People still watch Raw?

[AudeSapere]

Yeah, at least some of us do. You definitely don't get the same quality wrestling as Smackdown, and as a conceptual wrestling show it's not near as tight as ECW, and it's not like I sit there hanging on every word on the edge of my couch in my Undertaker t-shirt and DX pennant and Chain Gang medallions, it's more of a fun background distraction while I do homework or chores or whatever. I guess it's sort of a ritual since I've been watching it the better part of every Monday night since I was like 12. I've missed maybe two episodes in the last year and a half, and one of them was when Punk cashed in MITB to G2S Edge for the world title. Honestly, what else am I doing on a Monday night other than getting shit done with wrasslin' in the periphery of my vision?

But really, the only two things that piss me off right now are 1) DX and Triple H's diarrhea of the mouth, and 2) Chavo/Hornswoggle, which I was tired of before it even began. (And I guess this Cena/DX angle now, which is an off-shoot of both of those.) But other than that, there's not much that's offensively bad. You might get to see some pretty good matches, Chris Jericho and his big buddy are still great despite losing 2/3rds of the time, Santino can still be funny despite the face turn, and there's a lot of young talent I'm really digging. The guest host idea can be wonky and awkward, but sometimes it gives us moments like Shaq staring down Show, Bob Barker punking out Jericho, Roethlisberger and the Steelers o-line posing with DX (which in 1998 would've been my FAVORITE THING IN THE WORLD), and a variety of older stars like DiBiase and Dusty and Piper making a guest appearance and reminding us all in some small part why we loved/love them. It never quite has my full attention, but there are worse things to have on while you fold laundry, and who knows? Maybe you'll get another 60-minute Cena/HBK classic.

Speaking of, how bad did they fuck up THAT feud? Cena beat Triple H and HBK at consecutive Wrestlemanias. And yet, if I recall correctly, both Trips and Michaels have non-title wins over Cena. All Cena has to do is prod them a little bit with their failures to beat him on the Grandest Stage, and they can tease dissension and remind them that they've both had HIS shoulders pinned for three as well. That's it! What the fuck does Hornswoggle have to do with anything?

[Patrick]

well, see, he's a midget

[AudeSapere]

I WAS ONCE BLIND BUT NOW I SEEEE

[AudeSapere]

i'm not a giant fan of 'local sports team sucks' promos, because as a cleveland and pittsburgh fan i fucking hate the yankees for buying a championship as well, but holy shit who would've thought two years ago that the miz would be entrusted to start monday night raw like that