P-Boi Forum: 50 Favorite Simpsons Characters

[Emily]

I don't understand why everybody gotta hate on Ralph Wiggum.

[B]

"You are Lisa Simpson."



43. Mr. Bergstrom - 67 points
(4 of 29 lists. Highest ranking - #2 B)

When Ms. Hoover falls ill with a suspected case of Lyme disease, she is replaced by substitute teacher Mr. Bergstrom (voice credited to "Sam Etic"). Because of his unusual teaching methods, Lisa quickly takes a liking to him; he is the only teacher, and perhaps the only adult, who has ever challenged, respected, and liked her. Just as Lisa is about to ask Mr. Bergstrom over to her parents house for dinner, Ms. Hoover returns. Rushing to the train station, Lisa confesses to Mr. Bergstrom (who is taking a job in another city) that she will be lost without him. To comfort her, he writes her a note with a message that will always support her. When he is gone, she finds that the note says "You are Lisa Simpson."

Sam Etic is a pseudonym for actor Dustin Hoffman. The name is a play on the word semitic, alluding to the fact that Hoffman is Jewish. Since Hoffman's, and in season 3 Michael Jackson's appearance under pseudonyms, series creator Matt Groening has imposed the rule that guest voices on the show are not permitted to use pseudonyms.

This is referenced in the later episode "Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie", in which Lisa tells Bart that the film included several cameos, mentioning Michael Jackson and Dustin Hoffman, adding that "they didn't use their real names, but you could tell it was them."

[Captain Walrus]

I don't think the coyote would have entered my brain ever. Although it is a very good choice.

[webber]

The Space Coyote was on my first cut of a list, but I think I had picked him mainly because he is connected to an especially hilarious episode, and he is voiced by Johnny Cash. I don't think the character is particularly amusing or strong.

Mr Bergstrom I thought of but he didn't make my list for some reason (possibly because he wasn't particularly funny?), although in retrospect he probably should have. Sorry to let you down, Bergstromites!

[Spoodles]

I didn't vote for the coyote, but it's heartening because I have a number of similarly obscure characters on my list.

[B]

"My eyes… the goggles do nothing!"



42. Rainier Wolfcastle - 69 points
(6 of 29 lists. Highest ranking - #5 n88n8888)

The rules that constrain other men,
Mean nothing to McBain.
The punches that bring pain to other men,
Mean nothing to McBain.
McBain! McBain! McBain!

Wolfcastle is obviously modelled on action film star and California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. This is due not only to his physique and action-hero persona, but also to the fact that he is a Republican, his ex-wife, who appeared in one episode, is named Maria (as in Schwarzenegger's wife Maria Shriver), and that he was seen at a gathering of members of the Quimby family, who are obviously modeled after the Kennedys. Wolfcastle is a veteran of many violent action movies, most notably the McBain series, but it is frequently suggested that his career is on the decline. He seems to battle frequently with weight problems, though tries to pass it off as something he is doing for a role (referencing Robert DeNiro's acting method, as in Raging Bull, in which he packed on the pounds to play a boxer on the skids). His films seem to be critical failures, as Jay Sherman introduced Wolfcastle in an interview on his TV show as "star of the reprehensible McBain movies."

Filmography:

* Bloodletter IV (and presumably by extension Bloodletter, Bloodletter II and Bloodletter III)
* License to Detonate (Licence to Kill parody)
* On the Fatherland's Secret Police (On Her Majesty's Secret Service parody)
* View to a Corpse (A View to a Kill parody)
* You Have the Right to Remain Dead (parody on a right of suspected criminals in the USA, "you have the right to remain silent")
* Undercover Nerd (played Melvin Eugene Punymeyer)
* Radioactive Man (film cancelled)
* Saving Irene Ryan (Saving Private Ryan parody)
* Help, My Son Is A Nerd! (note: this is not a comedy)
* My Baby Is an Ugly Man (co-starring Rob Schneider)
* The Incredible Shrinking McBain
* Nudist Camp Commandant
* McBain 4: Fatal Discharge (and by extension McBain I, II and III, one of which may be...)
* McBain: Let's Get Silly (the entire movie is just him in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars to make)
* an untitled movie in which he plays a fat secret agent
* several gay porn movies.

[B]

"Hey maw, look at that pointy-haireded little girl!"



41. Cletus Spuckler - 69 points
(9 of 29 lists. Highest ranking - #4 Sami)

Cletus was introduced in an episode of season five, "Bart Gets an Elephant", in which he is shown as one of the "slack-jawed yokels" gawking at Bart's elephant Stampy. (Cletus' voice is slightly deeper in this initial appearance than in later episodes.) This reference gave rise to his best-known name, Cletus The Slack-Jawed Yokel. As he was once introduced in song in "22 Short Films About Springfield", accompanied by bluegrass-style banjo music and a follow-the-bouncing-ball:

Some folk'll never eat a skunk
and then again some folk'll,
like Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel!

In the video game The Simpsons Hit & Run, Cletus appears as an NPC for several missions. Interestingly, he refers to a deceased relative as being "with Allah now", implying that he could be Muslim.

Known offspring: Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-bert, Phil

[Whittle]

Thanks for also thinking the Space Coyote is so awesome, Lindy.

[Just!n]

* Help, My Son Is A Nerd! (note: this is not a comedy)

ahahahahahaha

[B]

"Calm down old man, you're going to give youself skin failure!"



40. Dr. Nick Riviera - 73 points
(10 of 29 lists. Highest ranking - #9 Kirbyoto)

Riviera is of Hispanic descent (possibly Filipino) and has a medical degree from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College where he was a member of Sigma Chi Fraternity (where he apparently spent much of his time using his ability to acquire prescription drugs to impress a succession of attractive women back in the 1970s), and a great deal of luck; thus far, none of the patients he has swindled, maimed, or given useless or dangerous medical advice to have sued him.

He has operated on the Simpson family a couple of times (when they cannot afford Doctor Hibbert) notably when Homer needed a heart bypass. Lisa Simpson attended the live audience for the operation and saved the day by guiding the obviously clueless Dr. Riviera through the operation ("Homer's Triple Bypass").

The character design is based somewhat on Gábor Csupó, of Klasky Csupo studios – the animators mistakenly believed Hank Azaria was impersonating Gabor, when in fact the voice was actually an imitation of Ricky Ricardo from I Love Lucy.

[Sami]

Aw, I forgot Dr. Nick.

[Lindy]

Thanks for also thinking the Space Coyote is so awesome, Lindy.

Aw, shucks.

Honestly, I wanted to put a lot of more obscure characters on the list, but I changed it around knowing most wouldn't make it. I really wanted to see Stewart the nuclear power plant courier duck make the list.

[Spoodles]

Of course they won't make it...IF YOU DON'T VOTE FOR THEM.

Guy Incognito. Vote or die.

[Whittle]

Honestly, I wanted to put a lot of more obscure characters on the list, but I changed it around knowing most wouldn't make it. I really wanted to see Stewart the nuclear power plant courier duck make the list.

That was like, #30 for me. Even above Zutroy.

DACH ME CRACKAH MISTAH BOONS

[Lindy]

also totally voted for Guy Incognito. He would've been in the low 50s if he made the list.

[Mally]

41. Cletus Spuckler

I forgot about this guy! Aw...

[B]

"But all my stuff is there!"



39. Dr. Colossus - 79 points
(4 of 29 lists. 1 #1 vote - More Like)

Sideshow Mel: Chief! You have arrested an innocent man!
Chief Wiggum: Really? All right Doctor Colossus, you're free to go. But stay away from Death Mountain.

Colossus is a turquoise, Germanic supervillian notorious for his Colosso-boots, and was once married to Malibu Stacy creator Stacy Lovell.

Dr. Colossus takes a much larger role in the Simpsons Comics series, staging dramatic schemes only to be defeated by Homer, Snowball II, or even his own Colosso-boots.

[B]

"Coming up, how DO they get those dogs to talk on the beer commercials? Cowboy Steve will tell you!"



38. Kent Brockman - 80 points
(7 of 29 lists. Highest ranking - #2 Kirbyoto)

Brockman hosts the KBBL weekday news as well as Smartline, a local current affairs show and Eye on Springfield which focuses mostly on Springfield's entertainment news. His character bears a striking resemblance to Los Angeles news anchor Jerry Dunphy. Another well known anchorman, Lloyd Robertson from Canada (CTV), may be the model for Kent.

Brockman represents the worst of his profession; frequently judgmental, careerist to the point of absurdity, and more than willing to film a schmaltzy, emotion driven puff piece for the sake of a few extra ratings points. He has been seen throwing tantrums because he cannot find certain snack foods, and once blithely announced that the boom operator on his news program was being fired the next morning (for which he took a clout on the head from the angry soon-to-be-ex-employee). He seems to command excessive levels of power within Channel 6, even having a segment of the news program to air his own (usually highly reactionary) opinions on current issues called My Two Cents. Despite all of this, he has won a string of media awards, but is most proud of his unspecified trophy from Del Monte.

[B]

"Arr, I've got customers; call me back, Ishmael."



37. Captain Horatio McCallister - 82 points
(10 of 29 lists. Highest ranking - #9 More Like)

The Sea Captain was created by Conan O'Brien while he was a writer for The Simpsons. He first appeared in 1992 in the episode "New Kid on the Block" as the owner of The Frying Dutchman (a play on The Flying Dutchman) all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant. In that episode, McCallister is sued by Homer for not letting him eat all he could eat. Homer Simpson's visit to the restaurant caused the captain to observe about him, "'Tis no man, 'tis a remorseless eatin' machine!"

Captain Horatio McCallister's first name probably either comes from British admiral Horatio Nelson or C.S. Forester's fictional sea-captain Horatio Hornblower. His surname is probably named after Captain McCallister in the movie Flying Leathernecks or Fort McCallister. The character, with his pegleg, two glass eyes, and repetitive exclamations of "Arrr" is based on numerous popular media versions of seafarers and pirates, including Long John Silver.

[Laura~]

I didn't know his name so I voted for "the old sailor captain guy."